I've been going back and forth on what to say in this development update. It's tricky to know what exactly to say sometimes. But, here we go.
For a long time, I've struggled with depression and anxiety. At the moment, I am officially diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and social anxiety disorder. I suspect a few other things might be wrong, but confirmation on this would require going to an actual doctor and I'm having difficulty finding a provider that my insurance will accept.
Persistent depressive disorder is basically a fancy term for chronic depression. The symptoms are milder than that of major depressive disorder (which is probably the one you're more familiar with), but they're also longer-lasting. Social anxiety disorder is pretty self-explanatory; I get extremely anxious being around people and holding conversations, especially with people I don't know well. To make this even better, my day job is in customer service. It's hard sometimes, but I manage.
So the above problems, as well as a mixture of writer's block and good old-fashioned self-esteem issues, have really been getting me down lately. I feel like I haven't been doing enough. As far as Yumi-chan's Wonderful Cake Shop goes, I have essentially done all I can do until the artwork comes in, and it's not in yet and it won't be completed for a while. So I don't have a whole lot to offer right now, so I feel.
I thought I could fix the problem by focusing on writing other things, but ideas have been running slim. My output lately hasn't been at the level I want it at. And this only contributed to how badly I felt.
On the subject of Patreon: I know that I only have one Patron right now. But I take Patreon seriously and I want to treat it seriously, and so ideally I want to be continuously putting special things on there. But with the lack of content and the standstill I'm at in regards to Yumi-chan, I simply didn't have as much to give. And that, again, made me feel even worse. So I posed a question on Twitter, asking if perhaps I could start posting some other writings, like poems, as Patreon content in the meantime.
And here, everyone, is where the tone starts to lighten up, thanks to a couple of good people.
Naomi Norbez, my current Patron, answered the question by suggesting that since my Patreon is visual novel-focused rather than poetry-focused, that I could either change my Patreon characterization or make IF elements in the poems. And this got me thinking that maybe I should be trying to play to my strengths in poetry a bit more. So off I went to Twine to do some writing.
For the past couple days, I've been sitting in front of the computer, pretty much. Writing, thinking, writing. But today was a bit different. Today, the entries for IFComp 2015 were opened up for judging. I went through the list, and I started playing the game that sounded the most interesting to me: Nowhere Near Single by kaleidofish. I played it through, enjoyed it, and wrote a review of it just a few hours ago. And reading such a good story inspired me as well.
So I would like to happily announce that I'm putting the finishing touches on a Twine game called lucky me. I hope to have it completely ready within the next few days. It is not long and it is probably not a masterpiece. But goddamn it, it is a game and I am going to publish it. For all of you.
A million thanks to Naomi Norbez and kaleidofish for helping me. A million other thanks to everyone who's been following me so far. I hope to continue being of interest to everyone.