Sunday, April 16, 2017

Sakura-Con post-mortem

So here's the thing: I generally like conventions, but I've come to realize that I'm pretty bad at them.

I don't like large crowds and I don't like lots of loud noises, but in the past I've been able to ignore that, basically, because there are things I do love about conventions. I love the dealer's room and the artist's alley. I love the general atmosphere. I love seeing cosplay designs that people have worked so hard on. I love being somewhere where I'm not the weird awkward kid for liking anime.

I've come to realize that this is the first convention I've gone to where I went by myself and spent an extended amount of time. I did briefly go to Arkansas Anime Festival in May of 2016, for maybe an hour. But other than that, my past convention experiences have been with friends (or people I thought were friends at the time, but that's another story). I'd like to think that maybe this year's experience could simply be chalked up to not having anyone to share it with. But, like most sad stories, it's a bit more complicated than that.

About a month ago, I was diagnosed with PTSD. This combined with the mental illnesses I've been previously diagnosed with equals terrible mental health for the time being. This isn't the time to go into all the gorey details, but suffice to say that it's been a struggle, especially having just moved to a new area. To put it in a less professional manner: it really fucking sucks. Obviously, wanting to spend large amounts of time in bed and out of sight is a desire that doesn't mash well with attending a convention. But I really did want to enjoy myself. (Also, I'd already reserved the hotel.)

I can't say I didn't enjoy myself, because I did. I got to pick up some swag and see some bright and colorful things and it was nice. But I also ended up driving back home a day early because I couldn't sleep and couldn't stand being around people anymore.

So basically: I had fun, but not nearly as much as I wanted to.

Should I not be telling you all of this? Maybe not. It's not "professional" or anything. But I feel like you guys deserve to know why I've struggled so much producing content these past few months. Also I'm possibly going a bit stir-crazy from not having anyone to ramble at.

I don't really have a suitable conclusion. I'm always really horrible at writing conclusions. So instead, I shall end this with a picture of Seattle, and a promise that con swag pics will come at some point in the very near future. Thanks for reading.

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